(Photo grabbed from @itscamilleco | IG: www.instagram.com/p/Bv-rb2KhZXc)
Camille Co had once dreamt of having a perfect wedding embraced in the arms of her dream jowa, and yes it finally happened, if you had followed her through her life as a blogger you may be familiar with the hashtag #CoKoro as seen on Instagram. But before all the magic had happened, life brought her to a lot of challenges like remembering her fears on staying single and outgrowing them, and on being fearless about loving herself before she met the ray of sunshine that forever changed her life.
Camille shares her 7 lessons on love dedicated to those who were disappointed but still continue to find it, those who have found it, and wanting to treasure it, and even to those people who still explores the real meaning of love.
Lesson #1: Creating an ideal age for marriage is ok, but don’t forget to live with the present.
“Back when I was still a teenager, I thought I’d tie the knot when I’m 25 or 27 at the latest. As if 30 is such a far-flung number. As I move closer and closer to 25, I noticed how I try to move up my ideal marrying age. Today, at 31, I realized that planning ahead is okay, setting ideals too is okay, but when things change along the way, you should be able to reconcile that with yourself and enjoy the pace you’re at so you can be comfortable about it, too.”
Lesson #2: Self-love is when you find happiness in many ways when you’re alone.
“I was actually single for 4-5 years before I met Joni. To be honest, there was a fear brewing inside me thinking that I won’t be able to find a husband and eventually marry. It was later on that I realized that it was my newly single mindset that’s causing the fear and the anxiety. I was getting ahead of myself.”
“You really have to have faith in the process. Allow yourself to feel emotional and to accept and absorb the situation. After a few months, I didn’t even realize I’ve already moved on, fully healed and having the time of my life. I was genuinely happy and enjoying my singlehood. Make a conscious decision to trust the process and to know that you’ll be okay. Love yourself. Give yourself time. Focus on working on yourself and making yourself truly happy.”
Lesson #3: ‘My best friend’s wedding’ but don’t let that bother you, trust your own timing
“Sometimes, we become so obsessed about finding love that we put all our energies in it and we forget to enjoy where we are. Even if the rest of your barkada has found love, don’t let it pressure you and take your mind away from enjoying where you are. Moments pass us by so quickly, so you have to relish them.”
“I remember my single days when I really tried to appreciate every moment. That was the time when I can say I flourished and knew who I really am. I grew confident in my own skin and honestly, it is so empowering for a woman – knowing you’re fine on your own and trusting that everything will fall into place when the time is right.”
Lesson #4: The destination to wedding takes constant hard work from both partners
“When I was 25, you see love as if it’s like magic, something that will sweep you off your feet and then tadah it’s happily ever after. I look at love differently today, for I figured that love isn’t all butterflies and it’s nothing like magic. Being with Joni for almost 5 years, it has taught me that love takes work—it’s constant communication and adjusting expectations between you and your partner on a day-to-day basis.”
Lesson #5: Marriage is a careful choice, by both heart and mind.
“I have understood love isn’t about a checklist either. It’s not like – okay he’s 5/10 or 9/10 based on my standards. Love works not because your partner is perfect on paper. It works because he’s perfect for you. So you should never settle for someone who isn’t perfect FOR you. You deserve an equal. You deserve a partner, in every sense of the word.”
Lesson #6: Don’t depend your happiness on your partner
“I met Joni when I least expected it. I met him when I was utterly happy and content with my life. I met him when I was ready. We’ve all heard this once too many, but don’t go looking for love. Trust the process because going through that “process” is what you need to be the best version of you. This best version of yourself is what will ready you up for the next big thing.”
Lesson #7: Be your own definition of Fearless
“Most of the time, society puts so much ideals in our minds that we feel we’re racing against time to achieve them. Before Joni and I got engaged, you have no idea how many times we got asked about his proposal plans and yet we had nothing in mind yet; and when we finally got engaged, once again, we got asked countless times how soon we are getting married…”
“So if there’s another lesson I have learned, it’s that we need to be fearless on our own judgments of our life milestones. This is also a special S/O to the girls being pressured to find love and to find it soon – take your time and trust your process. Remember,
self-love goes a long way and when you start to learn this early on, you have a chance to live a fearless life longer.”
See how Camille and the Blogger Besties had the best Bachelorette party in Hong Kong, check out My Bachelorette #HereCamsTheBride on YouTube presented by Olay’s #FearlessAtAnyAge. Check out the meaty heart-to-heart discussion of Camille with best friend Laureen Uy on how they become fearless with their life decisions. What about you, what’s your definition of #FearlessAtAnyAge? Share to us your story, be it love, career, or something that took you out on a big adventure.